You’ve had an amazing story with unforgettable characters living inside your mind for what probably seems like forever.
You’ve been aching to write that book...
But you haven’t started it.
Why not?
Or maybe you did start it, but don’t know how to get past the beginning… or past the middle, or even to approach the end so you can finish it.
But imagine how awesome it would feel to finally type the words “THE END.”
Here’s the great news: You don’t have to imagine that anymore.
Because if you could get the right training and skills, you’d be able to craft the book you’ve always dreamed of creating. And then, writing would stop being scary or frustrating, and instead, it would be absolutely exhilarating.
That’s why Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things, encouraged would-be novelists to “Write like a m*****f*****.”
So, do you really need an MFA to write?
Hey, if you want one, that’s your business. But it’s gonna cost you.
In Canada, you’re looking at $30,000 to $40,000, and in the USA, up to $100,000. And that’s just for the degree! If you have to move to another city, you’ll also be paying for rent, food, transit, and everything else for two years (and you probably won't be able to save any money while you’re doing that).
But at least after you get your MFA, you’ll be swimming in high-paying job offers, multi-book publishing deals, and Hollywood A-lister adaptations, right?
(At the time of posting, profoundly bitter sarcasm about the publishing industry is not yet illegal, so I'm merely enjoying the scribal rights that the pharaohs intended us to have.)
Listen: just because universities and colleges really want your money, that doesn’t mean you’ll ever be able to pay off your loans.
And do you really want to be stuck in a hot, fluorescent-lit, Axe-smelling classroom with some out-of-touch professor whose sole goal is to make you write exactly like he does? A professor who might just forbid you writing in the genre and style, or with the socio-political commentary (or total absence of socio-political commentary) that has been your goal all along?
Shouldn’t you be the one deciding what your book’s going to be?
So let me share a dirty little secret about MFAs for you: you don’t need one. At all.
As a first-time author, I got a two-book deal from Random House, one of the biggest publishers in the world. My first novel, The Coyote Kings of the Space-Age Bachelor Pad, got short-listed for the Locus Best First Novel Award and the Philip K. Dick Award, and featured on four best-of-the-year lists. I got awesome reviews in The New York Times, Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, The Hollywood Reporter, and more.
My second novel, Shrinking the Heroes (originally published as From the Notebooks of Doctor Brain), earned even better reviews, got me the runner-up slot for the Philip K. Dick Award, and won the Kindred Award!
On the strength of that I ended up speaking at the Calgary-Banff International Wordfest and numerous conventions, becoming a celebrity (ahem) guest-judge on the national 3-Day Novel Contest reality TV show, writing video games for Electronic Arts, consulting with entertainment giant Tencent, speaking and giving keynote addresses across Canada, lecturing at universities across the USA, teaching at Clarion West, delivering a TEDx talk with over 860,000 views, and becoming Writer-in-Residence at the University of Alberta. My novels and the experiences they brought have opened and are still opening all kinds of doors for me.
But you know what no one—literally no one—ever asked me?
“Where’d you get your MFA?”
To paraphrase the bandit in Treasure of the Sierra Madre, “We don’t need no stinking MFAs.”
Hey, if you’ve got four years and all that tuition-money to spare (plus living expenses if you move to another city, and lost income while you’re a full-time student), knock yourself out.
But first, let me tell you a story.
At my alma mater, I earned a Bachelor’s Degree (with Distinction) in English Literature, and my focus was Creative Writing. Combining intermediate and senior levels, I had two professors (including one who was a Very Big Deal™) who gave us no craft-exploration or craft-building exercises at all.
I say this without exaggeration: they taught us nothing—literally nothing—about plotting, characterization, style, or other story mechanics, by using formal or even informal exercises. The best they gave us was an occasional quip or complaint about what not to do.
Instead, all they did was use an old “workshop” approach that has nothing to do with teaching. It was simply letting us students do all the talking while they as professors sat back and assigned grades without even teaching us how to revise the work they returned to us! (Hey, nice paycheque if you can get it.)
So, I wasted a year-and-a-half of my life (and tuition!) hoping that highly-paid professors were going to help us all learn to be better writers. Instead, whatever I did learn came from a bunch of university kids my own age who had no choice but to try figuring it out on our own!
And as I recently learned from a terrific article by S.L. Huang called “The Ghosts of Workshops Past: How Communism, Conservatism, and the Cold War Still Mold Our Paths into SFF Writing,” that “workshop” model was rotten from the start.
I personally saw how bad it was when in our final year, the only two female members of the class quit after the first month or so, and our iconic professor said nothing to us about their departure and didn’t seem to care.
Am I saying he was sexist? Well, he also didn’t say anything as the male students began dropping out, including one upon whose story he’d scrawled the immortal words “Six Pages of Shit” (I'm not kidding. I later learned that guy was so devastated he became homeless.)
Let me tell you: If you’re in a creative writing class, you have every right to expect your instructor to care about your growth, and to teach you extremely useful perspectives and strategies for writing, and then to guide you through exercises and revision to grow and hone your skills. Otherwise, what are you paying for? To be insulted? To be demoralised? Or, after wasting all that time and money, to quit?
These can be extremely fun! And they can also be extremely useful for your growth as a writer, because the instructor has probably had plenty of experience in publishing and so can give you meaningful insights into the craft and the business of writing.
But what if you don't have the time or money to fly or even drive to another province, state, or country, and pay for taxis, a hotel, and meals?
Not to mention the disappointment of getting stuck in a cramped, dingy hotel conference room to cram hours of lectures into your exhausted brain and then stay up late Friday and Saturday night to try doing your homework for the next day....
Unless, of course, you get too distracted by the hospitality suite....
Time to stop waiting, and start writing!
Stop wondering if you could have written that novel that’s been in your gut all this time. Stop running out the clock of life while telling yourself, “How would my life be different if I’d just committed to writing that book?”
Here’s the great news: You can stop sabotaging and start fulfilling your writing dreams TODAY.
Because all you’ve ever needed is the right skills that you can learn at your own pace, through fun and exciting actions to expand your abilities and your ambition.
That’s what it means to WRITE LIKE A M.F.
(And just to be clear, that doesn’t mean to write like me, Minister Faust. If you ever encounter a creative writing instructor who wants to shape you into a mini-sculpture of himself, grab your wallet and run.)
In my decades of work as an interviewer, one question I have always loved asking is, “What do you wish you had known when you started?”
That’s why I’ve created WRITE LIKE A M.F.—to share pretty much everything I’ve learned in my literary trips around the sun, at an affordable price, so that other people can stop wasting time reinventing papyrus and just start illuminating their own scrolls.
“I took Minister Faust’s class over a decade ago when I was a budding writer, and it really helped with my craft, confidence, and ultimately, helped me commit to a career in writing. He creates an extremely positive environment and is very encouraging.”
SADIYA ANSARI
has written for The Guardian, Maclean’s, VICE, Refinery29, Chatelaine, Policy Options, Toronto Star, HuffPost Canada, The Globe & Mail, Reader’s Digest and more. She has worked as a Professor of Journalism at Centennial College, managing editor of features at Global News, staff editor at Chatelaine and has reported for the Toronto Star, produced TV for CBC News, edited opinion for HuffPost Canada, and covered arts for the Canadian Press. She’s the 2023-24 Asper Visiting Professor of Journalism at the University of British Columbia. Sadiya’s debut book IN EXILE ( part-memoir, part-investigation -- will be published in August 2024 (House of Anansi). Photograph by Andreea Muscarel.
“Minister Faust achieves something I thought no longer possible: he makes learning fun. His lively workshops are an excellent resource for writers at any stage in their careers, with clear instruction led by an author as talented as he is approachable. I’m not sure if I’ll ever attain the status of writing ‘Like a M.F.,’ but thanks to Minister Faust, I feel closer than ever before.”
COREY REDEKOP
Author of Shelf Monkey and Husk
“Minister Faust makes the craft of writing a shared, relatable experience. His presentation was structured with tangible learning outcomes applicable to a variety of writing approaches, styles, and genres. His shared anecdotes and storytelling about the writing process were relevant and helpful. It’s nice to see a writing instructor be funny and approachable.”
NAKITA VALERIO
PhD Student, ECAMP editor
“If there’s one thing Minister Faust is more ferocious about than writing, it’s generously sharing his vast knowledge with anyone brave enough to ask for it.”
STEPHEN NOTLEY
Creator of Bob the Angry Flower
PLOT LIKE A M.F.
Are you scared your stories just don’t sizzle? That your readers aren’t turning your pages? That your plots go plop?
Well, fear no more! PLOT LIKE A M.F. is your ideal step-by-step system for understanding what you’ve been doing wrong and getting all the skills you need to do right by creating unforgettable plots!
With close to FIVE HOURS of video modules, a 30-page Action Book packed with exciting challenges, myth-busting, trouble-shooting, and clear explanations that turn complexity into comprehension, you’ll learn to build arc-enabled characters packed with conflict! Then you’ll master the four-act Diamond Structure to hook readers, amplify stakes and tension, and deliver a hell of a climax and resolution!
What are you waiting for? Just PLOT LIKE A M.F.!
Video course $249 + Action book $29 || PLAMF package: $278
CREATE
CHARACTERS
LIKE A M.F.
Do you ever think about all those boring characters in books who barely got your attention? Of course not. The question answers itself.
Here’s the question more writers need to ask themselves: “Am I creating characters like that?”
Never worry about that again.
Deploy my Twelve M.F. Key Character Strategies to create unforgettable characters that readers want to hug, marry, eat a burger with, or fight to the death in an abandoned outlet mall! Finally give birth to all the people who’ve been living in your head!
Then raise them into the bizarre, magnificent, wacky, contradictory, infuriating, dazzling, and otherwise awesome people you’ve always hoped they’d be so they can live forever inside the heads of your readers!
Use close to FOUR HOURS of video modules and the 35-page Action Book to transform all the new ideas in your mind into outstanding characters on your pages, and my handy guides to bust misconceptions and get your characters cooking if you accidentally turn off the heat. It's time to CREATE CHARACTERS LIKE A M.F.!
Video course $199 + Action book $34 || CCLAMF package: $233
ELECTRIFY
RELATIONSHIPS
LIKE A M.F.
Pretty much anyone who’s ever met humans can Frankenstein together at least one fascinating character. You might even be able to make a few that way.
But do they have chemistry?
Do your chapters featuring two or more characters feel like the waiting room in an accountant’s office? Or a bus stop with two strangers who barely notice each other?
What if instead you used my Ten M.F. Relationship Electrifiers to craft character connections and cataclysms such as nearly ex-spouses screaming around a conference table with their ever-more-reluctant lawyers? Or eighty-somethings reunited after sixty years, five kids, three oceans, and two bad marriages? Or a squad of street-fighters who’ve taken too many hits and now want nothing more than to feed street kids… together?
With nearly THREE HOURS of video modules, a 25-page Action Book packed with skill-expanding awesomeness, plus myth-busting and trouble-shooting guides, you'll be ready to create dynamic duos, tragic and triumphant trios, and something awesome starting with “q” for your quartets.
Want your novel to soar above interesting individuals with nothing in common? Just ELECTRIFY RELATIONSHIPS LIKE A M.F.!
Video course $149 + Action book $24 || ERLAMF package: $173
BUILD WORLDS
LIKE A M.F.
You’ve been reading novels with endlessly awe-inspiring worlds for as long as you can remember: The Lord of the Rings, Dune, Ursula Le Guin’s Earthsea series, A Game of Thrones, N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy, the Potterverse, Suzanne Collin’s Panem, or some other captivating cosmos…
But when it came time to start building your own, did the weight of all those literary legacies leave you overwhelmed?
Time to lay down that burden, activate your very own Genesis Device, and start forming worlds!
With nearly FOUR-AND-HALF-A-HOURS of video modules, we’ll start by busting some myths that may be stopping you. Then using the 34-page Action Book to focus your terraforming experiments, you’ll deploy SEVEN KEY IMAGINEERING CONCEPTS TO CREATE UNFORGETTABLY FASCINATING WORLDS, including a strategies for building microworlds inside your macroworlds and using a possible algorithm for all of human history!
Some people say God made the earth in six days, but you can take all the time you want to BUILD WORLDS LIKE A M.F.!
Video course $224 + Action book $34 || BWLAMF package $258
SPECIAL
And because you’re trying to start (or re-start) that amazing novel that’s been pounding on your brain trying to get out for the season, year, or decade, when you get the TRANSFORM LIKE A M.F.: FOUR-CORE SYSTEM of all the above courses, I’ll give you these two bonuses at no additional charge, just because I want to see you succeed!
The Dream Machine:
Cliff-Hanging Suspense Generator
+ Adventure Plot Engine
($19 Value)
Never bore readers again! Learn TWENTY-TWO terrific plot- and character-based suspense-generating ways to end your chapters and amplify page turnability!
Then if you're still stuck in a story swamp, blast your way out using the Adventure Plot Engine to directions you’d never imagined and get your story moving again!
The Magnificent M.F.s:
Secrets of Storytelling Masters
Volume 1 - Text + Audio
($29 Value)
Who doesn’t want to learn from brilliant writers who’ve mastered the craft and have legions of fans (not to mention stunning book sales)?
Each volume of The Magnificent M.F.s features my interview with a writing titan on the craft and business of creating literature. Get inside the minds of the people making some of the best stories of our times!
A single weekend creative writing course including hotel, travel, and food could easily set you back $1000. And other than whatever notes you take yourself, you’re probably not getting a ton of resources--including hours and hours of video sessions you can replay as much as you like for years to come.
A four-year undergraduate degree in English at my alma mater (without books or residency) was $5000 back when I was there scribing on papyrus and fighting crocodiles to the death with no weapon but a Norton Anthology. Now that same B.A. runs around Cdn$28,000. And a B.A. would cost you way more than that at a typical college or university in the USA.
And our ol’ buddy the MFA? That could easily be $100,000.
Even if you’re nervous or you’ve lost faith in your ability to write, let me help you. Each course is packed with actions to expand your creative skills and literary vision. So work the system. Take up to 30 days from date of purchase to you give it your all. If you still haven’t grown as a writer, contact me by Day 30 and I’ll refund your money.
